IN TIME OF WAR

It was a very small moment in time, an inconsequential fragment of the Second World War. All one can say is that it may have been significant to those who actually took part. Or maybe not. Perhaps it was all a little too tongue-in-cheek. Either way, the story is recounted in a copy of a newspaper cutting dated July 22, 1940, and it concerned a Norfolk village detachment of the LDV (Local Defence Volunteers), the hastily organised forerunners of the Home Guard.
Apparently they had built for themselves a fortification, or blockade, on the village green. What sort of fortification was not made clear, but it is obvious they were proud of it because they decided to organise a weekend exercise and place their defences under 'attack.' So they informed the Army and managed to book the services of some 'umpires' to check fair play and rule who was dead or captured, and so on. The ages of the LDV group evidently ranged from 15 to 63, and included one gentleman apparently determined to sort out the invaders with his fists.
On the appointed evening they mustered at the Green. Uniforms and rifles were issued to the defenders, while the 'Germans' were in mufti. Then, suddenly, car loads of Top Brass turned up to watch, as did most of the rest of the population of the village. And the battle did not begin well. As the defenders began to set up outposts, the 'enemy' suddenly appeared and started to lob 'hand grenades' (actually, tennis balls) which, an umpire ruled, had immediately 'killed' the commander of the defenders without a shot having been fired.
Then a mystery car appeared in the distance, drove unchallenged by one outpost and pulled up at the blockade. Suddenly, two more attackers leapt out, hurled their 'bombs' and charged the defences. Again, the umpire ruled both attackers and one defender 'dead.'
The situation appeared grim, but at this point another attacker appeared from out of the long, wet grass and hurled his 'bomb' which, alas for him, hit the side of the fortification and bounced back. The attacker was immediately ruled 'dead,' having been 'killed' by his own bomb.
This greatly cheered the defenders but, alas, they celebrated too soon. Unknown to them, another attacker had climbed to the roof of an adjoining farm house, and from the protection of the chimney stack had thrown his tennis ball with unerring accuracy into the middle of the blockade. The umpires ruled immediately that the entire garrison had been wiped out. Oddly, it did not dampen enthusiasm, for the report also adds that they were all greatly encouraged by the experience.
There are three interesting side issues to all this, one being that shortly after the action the over-confident LDV issued a another challenge, this time to a neighbouring village, to see if they could wipe out the fortification. Also, a typewritten note on the copy of the cutting explains that the article had been 'heavily censored and not sub-edited on its return.' In other words, the EDP printed it exactly as it had come back from the censor's office. Which may or may not explain some of the article's descriptive ambiguities.
A third point is that I have a suspicion - and this is a guess - that the village at the centre of all this excitment was Felthorpe, which is not far from Weston Longville. However, I didn't know Felthorpe had a village green. Or a fortfication for that matter.
(Our Village LDV, cutting, Eastern Daily Press, July 22, 1940)