GLORIOUS MUD

Two of the many pleasures of watching old film of football matches from the past are (a) an opportunity to check how fashion in haircuts and the length of shorts has changed over the seasons, and (b) the state of the pitches. Haircuts were invariably short-back-and-sides until the 1970s, when Mexican bandit-type 'tashes and flowing locks took over, while shorts (in the 1950s many match programmes still called them knickers) got shorter and shorter until they reached mid-thigh. Mind you, they did look rather more athletic and businesslike than some of the baggy knee-length (and lower) longjohns of today.
But the pitches! Most of the surfaces would now be considered unplayable, and perhaps in theory many of them were. Things have moved on, of course, and many modern surfaces, some of them profusely over-irrigated, seem to resemble shiny snooker tables. This in turn reminds me of what managers used to say about the old Wembley: 'If you can't play good football on this Wembley pitch, then you can't play anywhere.'
But what constitutes 'unplayable' nowadays and evidently justifies a match being called off? It is quite usual to hear complaints about any pitch which is slightly less smooth than snooker beige, or too wet, the types of conditions today's much lighter footballs - and goalkeepers, for that matter, who cannot fathom out the swerve - simply do not enjoy. Thus the menu of tests applied to pitches of old seem somewhat different to today's rules.
For example, if snow/frost/rain or whatever threatened a 1950s/60s match then the ref had several things to keep in mind during his inspection. Are the terraces OK, or are they a danger to the public (ie, snow, ice)? Is the pitch dangerous (ie, are players likely to be injured using it)? Can the lines be seen by players and officials (snow, water)? And will the ball move (ie, will a pass allow the ball to travel a reasonable distance)?
If it was not dangerous, and if you could see the lines, then in general the match was on. Mud was not seen as such a huge hazard then.
I can remember three particular pitch complications involving Norwich City games. One was a League Cup semi-final second leg when Chelsea came to Carrow Road and, with City leading and about seven minutes to go, fog finally descended so thickly the ref, in the centre circle, could not see either goalmouth. He rightly called it off.
Another was a match at Ipswich on a very frosty and slippery pitch, when in the first half the Norwich goalmouth, particularly, was causing the City 'keeper no end of difficulty. Came half-time, and the Ipswich groundstaff rushed on and began to sand and sweep the same goalmough, much to the fury of the City fans. And once when I travelled by train to London on a very snowy Boxing Day only to arrive at Shepherd's Bush to find a notice pinned on the gate saying, 'Match Postponed.'
No mobile phones or laptops in those days, of course, which meant it was difficult to obtain or spread the news. On the other hand, a consolation was that the fans did watch many, many thrilling games played by mudlarks on very sloppy pitches, something which just doesn't happen today. Or not in the Premiership, anyway.